We are a product of the lives we live, the food we eat, and the way we think. Our behaviors are shaped throughout our lives. Significant people in our lives play a part in that, think parents, grandparents, and so on. The experiences we have during our life play a role in our thoughts, beliefs, and actions. Each one of us is a complex and dynamic process that fills our humanly shaped form, making us who we are.
This beautiful body of mine didn't occur overnight. My heart disease did not just show up one day and say, "hey! I'm here!" No, my body began to take shape in the womb and has continued every second of my existence.
My love of food started early. My behaviors fell right behind my love of food. I'm not going to start blaming my parents for my being fat or the food choices I made. As I mentioned before, it was
nothing for me to slam down 2 Big Boys or Big Chefs loaded with extra, extra, tarter sauce, along with double bowls of cole slaw, onion rings, and chili. Heck, I could eat several containers of Hasty Tasty mashed potatoes and gravy in a blink of an eye. My mom was ever so happy to give me these meals as it kept me happy. I was sick all the time with my asthma and allergies as a kid. Just an FYI, they did not have all the asthma meds like they do today. I suffered through many a long day and night or stayed in oxygen tents as a kid just to breathe. Yes, a lot has changed over the years. Even in my unsupervised teen years, I could eat 2 Tony's frozen pizzas (back when they were big in size) and still want a third. As I got older, in my 20's, I added extra toppings to make up for their skimpiness. Food made me happy. Little did I know, it was also starting to kill me.
I went from being pudgy to dangerously fat. The doctors call it morbidly obese. I was active. I road my bike in my college years and lost a great deal of weight, actually getting down to 140 pounds. And
as quick as I lost it, my body found it again. I took Tae Kwon Do and actually made it up to the navy belt. Instead of losing weight, I gained! My asthma was much better thought. I was just 3 months from black belt when I had to stop due to my weight, inability to balance, and injuries. One of my greatest regrets was not being able to earn that black belt.
But I continued to eat and finally hit a weight of 273 pounds. I will never forget the night that my heart spoke to me for the first time. I was sitting in the family room eating 2 Wendy's singles with everything on them, a large chili, and a supersized fry. Oh, and a Frosty too. I think it was a large one. Then it happened. I began to have heart palpitations, a lot of them. Scared me to death, at least for that moment. But here is the thing, health scares don't last long. I tried to lose weight. Gained it back and on and off over the past years. I did the typical calorie counting as the internet had not yet become "the source for info" and all those fad diets were not quite mainstream yet. I tried and I failed multiple times. Meanwhile, my body suffered and the damage was racking up miles inside my blood vessels and vital organs.
So, when I tell you that I lived it.... I'm not kidding. I have been there and now I am paying the price. Back when I was growing up, people didn't know about nutrition like now. So, much information is available, thanks to the web and the advancement of specialties, it's hard not to hear about health and nutrition. Back in my day, it was the doctor saying, "Rosie, you might want to start her on a 1000-calorie diet." What did that even mean back then? Nutrition labels did not exist. Check out this article on the history of nutrition and labeling. It's really interesting. No, really. It is. History of Nutrition Labeling - Front-of-Package Nutrition Rating Systems and Symbols - NCBI Bookshelf (nih.gov)
The kicker of it all, I was in the process of getting healthy when all this came down. I started to make changes to my diet and become more active back in 2019. I bought an electric bike and started to ride again. I finally got my strength built back up and was able to start riding my manual bike, up to
10 miles! I even started walking my new puppy a mile each day.
Then I started doing virtual races, both by biking and walking. I increased my miles more and more every week. I was doing and feeling great. Then my body started to rebel. My knees, hips, and back all started hurting to the point I could barely move much less sleep. X-rays, CT scans, and MRIs showed the damage of years of abuse. Osteoarthritis, degenerative joint disease, and even a fractured back
stared back at me as I read the reports. Not to mention the wonder calcium-scoring CT holding the kiss of death over my life. A barrage of specialists holding no true answers, wanting to inject my body at every affected joint, and fill me full of medicines I could not and would not take all fell in my path. Not to mention a stint of rehab.
All of this could have been avoided if I had only known. If I had only cared. If I had seen what the future could have held. I never thought about getting older and how that looked. Have you? Seriously, did you, growing up, think about what you would look like or experience as you got older? It's like there is a built-in blinder, never allowing yourself to imagine or see yourself at the age of 60, 70, or 80+. But here I am, staring at it straight on. My future coming at me like a freight train and I can't get off the track. Or can I?
Our bodies are resilient. Our bodies have the ability to heal themselves. But we have to treat our bodies with respect and fill them with the right fuels to get the job done. We have to allow our bodies time to rest, not just strengthen them. We are multi-functioning beings who consist not only of a body but a mind, and soul.
Being good to ourselves and practicing self-care means addressing the whole. Yes, there are times when one part of us needs more care and attention than the rest of our whole but we cannot neglect our other parts. Self-care is a holistic and all-encompassing process. Caring for our bodies prepares us for our future. Self-care allows us to enjoy the here and now, as well as what is to come. I don't remember reading that in any book as a child or young adult but it should definitely be mandatory reading for all ages now.
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